Regenerate
by kayykat
Summary: What if the Doctor didn't let Amy and Rory jump at the end of Angels Take Manhattan? What if he jumped instead? A peak into the mind of a regenerating Time Lord.


"No! What are you two doing?!" I screamed in disbelief as soon as I saw Amy and Rory standing on the edge of the Winter Quay roof. I knew what they were doing, they were planning to jump off in order to create a paradox and erase the angels from the entirety of history. A very noble, gallant act, to sacrifice yourself to save your friends as they were planning to; however, I couldn't bear to see Amy and Rory, my family, my best friends, simply toss themselves off the edge of a building not knowing if they would survive or not. I had to do something. I shoved River off of me. I heard her yelling, "Sweetie, no!" as I ran to Amy and Rory, but it was too late, I knew what I was doing. I grabbed them and pulled them back with every ounce of strength I had. The Pond's were safely behind me, but I found myself teetering between the very edge of the roof and the open air beneath me. Suddenly, the bit of the building that I was desperately clinging too, was gone, and I was falling.

"I don't want to go," I screamed as I tumbled over the edge of the building. I knew the moment that I went over the edge that it would be the last time these eyes would ever see anything. The last time this mouth would ever scream. The last time Amelia Pond, the girl who waited for me for so long, would ever see her raggedy man again.

My Time Lord brain began spinning fast and out of control. All the memories I've made since my last regeneration were coming back to me all at once. The TARDIS crashing into the garden of a very patient girl, the seemingly never ending reoccurrence of the crack in the universe, meeting Rory and gaining two new companions. I remember our first encounter with the Silence, vaguely of course, and I remember being told the only way to vanquish them would be to say my name. A name, so powerful, it could exterminate the entirety of the Silence and goodness knows what else. I remember Devils Run, saving Amy and discovering the truth about RiverSong. I remember fooling everyone and faking me death so The Silence would stop trying to attack me, River, Amy, and Rory the Roman. I remember reconvening with Craig and having the absolute pleasure of meeting Stormageddon, now sadly known as Alphie though. Stormageddon a much better name in my opinion. I remember meeting Oswin Oswald. The girl with a mind so strong she resisted being turned into a Dalek. It nearly broke my hearts to have to tell such a strong, free willing spirit that she wasn't human, but in fact the very creatures she was hiding from. I can still hear her robotic voice resonating in my mind, "I…am not Dalek. I...am...human". I would not be able to live with myself knowing that I am, not human, but in fact, the universes most feared creature.  
After saving the universe so many times, Amy, Rory and I decided to take a break and visit a popular human tourist attraction. We were enjoying New York reading a lovely book, when the book suddenly began reflecting our lives. We stopped reading due to the potential paradox. That's when Rory got taken by the angels for the first time. Amy and I nearly shattered New York going back to the 1930's to find him. We found Rory only to discover that every statue in New York had turned into an Angel and was trying to kill us. After watching an older version of Rory die, we knew a paradox, two Rory's dying in the same place at the same time, would eliminate the angels for good. But dear, sweet Amelia would not let him jump without her and I couldn't let either of them jump without knowing they would survive.  
Suddenly, I felt my body slam into the ground, jerking me out of my reminiscence. One of my hearts gave out instantly. I felt the pain of hitting concrete after a several hundred meter long drop, filter all throughout my body. My second heart began to falter and my eyes started to close. Suddenly my body convulsed and the regeneration process began, healing me, transforming me into a new Doctor, inside and out. And I looked up to see the beautiful gold essence of a Time Lord escaping from my body. Through the shimmering air, I saw Amelia Pond's face. I could just make out what her fair lips were screaming down to my mangled body, "Raggedy man, goodbye."  
What a beautiful way to die.


End file.
